Sweet or Spooky? Find Out Which Halloween Tea Person You Are
Every year around the first week of September, my husband drags a six foot skeleton out of the basement and sets it by the staircase like it's a normal piece of furniture. Meanwhile I'm on the other side of the house putting out little white pumpkins and a candle that smells like cinnamon.
Same house. Same season. Completely different holidays.
I've come to believe there are two kinds of Halloween people, and that most of us know exactly which one we are by about age nine. There's the sweet Halloween. Cardigans, cider, a stack of books, a lit pumpkin on the porch. And there's the spooky Halloween. The one that's been waiting eleven months to be properly unsettled.
Neither one is better. But you do have to pick, and your tea should probably know which one you are.
The quiz
Five questions. Keep track of your A's and B's.
1. It's October 15th. What's on your TV? A. Something warm with a happy ending you've already seen four times B. Something you'll regret watching alone at 11pm
2. Your porch, honestly. A. Pumpkins, mums, maybe a wreath B. There is a skeleton. There may be more than one skeleton.
3. What's the ideal Halloween evening? A. Blanket, book, hot drink, no plans B. Lights off, movie on, jump scares welcome
4. Pick a flavor. A. Cinnamon, vanilla, warm spice B. Blood orange, dark chocolate, sharp peppermint
5. Someone hands you a mug with a face drawn on it. A. That's adorable, where did you get it B. Does it get scarier when you drink it? It should get scarier.
Mostly A: You're a Sweet
You like the season, not the scare. Halloween for you is really just the front porch of autumn: the light changing, the sweaters coming out, the first genuinely cold morning where the hot drink actually matters.
You want your tea to feel like the good chair and the lamp and forty minutes nobody needs anything from you.
Your blend: the Sweet Chai Collection, $42.
Four chais in a pink box with a gold bow, plus an acrylic bookmark and a card with four book recommendations tucked inside.
- Vanilla Bean Chai (caffeine free) is the after dinner one. Soft, sweet, no reason to stop at 4pm.
- Black Velvet Chai (caffeinated) is smooth and a little luxurious. If you watch anything with hats and gardens in it, this is your cup.
- Hot Sassy Cinnamon (caffeinated) has actual heat to it. Warming in the real sense, not just the marketing sense.
- Market Spice Chai (caffeinated) is the traditional one. The full spice family, doing exactly what it's supposed to.
The bookmark says Steep. Sit. Turn the page. That's not a slogan, it's more of an instruction.
Mostly B: You're a Spooky
You have been ready for this since roughly February. You don't want cozy, you want atmosphere. And you have a very low tolerance for Halloween things that are actually just autumn things wearing a costume.
Your blend: Monster Classics, $30.
Three teas, and two of them are named after books that have been keeping people up at night for over a century.
- Frankensteep (caffeinated, green tea) is mint chocolate chip. Mary Shelley was nineteen when she wrote Frankenstein, which I think about more than is reasonable. One brewing note that matters: this is a green tea, so 175°F and 2 to 3 minutes. Boiling water will make it bitter.
- Zombie Zinger (caffeine free) is blood orange, and it's the most beautiful thing we've photographed this year. Pour it over ice and watch the red spread through the whole glass.
- Vampire's Kiss (caffeinated) is candy cane and peppermint on a black tea base. Cool and sharp, then unexpectedly sweet. There's a reason Dracula has stayed in print for a hundred and thirty years, and it isn't the plot. It's that he's charming right up until he isn't.
Dead even? You're a Boo Bundle person
If you split three and two, or if you've been arguing with every question, you're the third kind. You want Halloween to be fun. Decorations, yes. Nightmares, no.
Your blend: the Boo Bundle.
- Monster Mash (caffeine free)
- Ghostly S'mores (caffeinated, black tea with Lapsang Souchong, and it genuinely tastes like a campfire)
- Pumpkin Patch Punch (caffeine free)
Festive without the dread. Two of the three are caffeine free, which makes this the easiest one to share with a house full of people at different bedtimes.
Can't pick? Then don't
Here's something I'll admit as the person who has to write these descriptions: I take the quiz and I land right in the middle every time. I want the pink box AND the one with the skeleton on it.
If that's you, the math happens to work out. The Sweet Chai Collection is $42 and Monster Classics is $30, which puts you at $72. Anything over $60 gets our Trick or Tea tote free, no code needed. It just shows up in the box.
So the answer, apparently, is both.
Frequently asked questions
What is Halloween tea? Halloween tea is seasonal loose leaf tea blended and named around autumn and Halloween themes. Ours run from cozy chai and warm spice blends to darker flavors like blood orange, mint chocolate, and peppermint. Flavor profiles range from sweet and warming to sharp and bright.
Which Halloween teas are caffeine free? In our collections, Zombie Zinger, Monster Mash, Pumpkin Patch Punch, and Vanilla Bean Chai are all caffeine free. Frankensteep, Vampire's Kiss, Ghostly S'mores, Black Velvet Chai, Hot Sassy Cinnamon, and Market Spice Chai all contain caffeine.
Is Halloween tea a good gift? It's one of the easiest fall gifts to give, because it's seasonal without being tied to a specific holiday obligation. A tea bundle works for a hostess, a teacher, a coworker, or a friend who has everything. Our bundles arrive gift-ready with no extra wrapping needed.
What tea is best for fall? Chai blends, spiced black teas, and anything with cinnamon, apple, or pumpkin tend to be the most popular fall teas. Caffeine free herbals with warm spice are a good evening option if you're sensitive to caffeine later in the day.
How long does shipping take? Orders ship in 3 to 5 business days.